Dinner Posters.
Have we really de-evolved into a society that deems it necessary to post exactly what they have for dinner on a nightly basis? What am I supposed to do with this information? I could go the obvious path and "like" it. But, suppose I don't like the asparagus you had. Do I then "like" it, tagged with a comment about my dislike of asparagus? This just seems like too much work. Or I could counter your post with a comment listing the items that I had that night. You, of course, could pick out the things about my dinner that you dislike and hilarity would ensue. Fuck it, as long as we are rapping about supper, others can chime in about BOTH of our meals by commenting on what they like and dislike about them, they may even share what they had too! If we are lucky, we may even learn about certain individuals' food allergies, or a story about one's bout with food poisoning after eating the same food in the Amish Country last Fall. Hell yeah! We're conversing! Social networking is fucking sweet. All of this information would have been locked away forever, had you not had the awareness to tell me about the can of Spagettios you just warmed over the stove.
Look at the Baby!!
Congratulations. You had a baby. A man came inside of you intentionally or by accident. It happens. Apparently, everyday according to the disturbing studies that have been conducted on over-population of the planet, but I digress. So you think because you put up with some bullshit for 9 months, that you can subject me to every single event that revolves around your seed? Like I'm supposed to be impressed that it lacks the motor skills to successfully transfer food from its plate to its mouth. Fuck off. I've seen that trick before. If the kid is emitting flames from its eyes while scoring 100% on Guitar Hero, all while not even facing the television, i'm in. Show that shit to me. Oh, and just some food for thought, how would you have felt if your whole infancy/childhood/adolescence would have been displayed to the entire world? Archived. Available to anyone with internet connection. You thought your mom bustin out baby photos to a chick you were trying to fuck was bad before………Jeeeeeesus Christ. These little anklebiters have no chance in Hell of getting some stank on their hang low.
People over the age of 12 that use "LOL" and "LMAO".
I don't even have words to go here…………You guys are dicks.
Computer Hackers that use an alias of a half nude hot chick that all of a sudden wants to be my friend.
For all the knowledge you possess about binary codes, viruses, and firewalls and shit, you would think you could come up with a better plan of attack. Your logic is fucked. Those bitches aren't talking to me! Maybe 10 years ago…..have you seen what I'm working with lately? I'm a full blown alcoholic, that works 2 jobs to scrape out $400 in monthly rent! I'm banging some tragic looking women now.
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