Gary had a real dilemna.
His 11 year old daughter, Anna, was absolutely, head over heels, in love with Justin Beiber.
Posters ripped from magazines and collages lined the once visible mock wood paneling in her room. In fact, everything within eyesight in her room was a constant reminder that Daddy was losing his little girl. He and his wife Melissa knew this day was coming. Gary was already mapping out "the talk" in his head.
Anna wouldn't be home from school for at least another half hour. It was plenty of time for Gary to log onto Wikipedia, for some last minute prep material.........and print. Add it to the portfolio........good. Gary felt confident and ready to attack this head on.
As the bus pulled up, Gary sat in silence as Anna skipped off the bus equipped with her "Beiber Fever" t-shirt and donning a pink and yellow Beiber lunch box. This shit just got serious. The smile on her face was at least a mile long. Gary seethed.
"She's probably thinking about fucking him right now". He mumbled to himself.
Gary couldn't even wait for her to get through the door.
"Sit, young Lady...."
Confusion washed over Anna's face. She could sense the tense tone of Gary's voice. She began to think of anything she had done to make him react this way.
Gary immediately ripped the lunchbox from her hand and chucked it up against the wall. A half eaten peanut butter and jelly sandwich spilled onto the floor. He stared at the sandwich and quickly jabbed, "You think peanut butter grows on trees?"
"Um, no?" Anna replied.
"Smart girl. That is correct. Peanut butter does not grow on trees." Gary scolded, realizing he had absolutely no idea where to take this next. He knew the next few minutes would be vital in this conversation. On one hand, he realized that this was a normal part of growing up for a near teenage girl. On the other hand, Gary had to do everything within his power to keep her from giving random handjobs to the entire basketball team when she hit middle school. It was his responsibility as a father.
"I was in your room today.....this Justin Beiber fellow, what's that all about?"
"OMG! He's soooo cute! He's only one of the most talented singers in the world, Dad!" Anna replied as she dug into her backpack.
"Hands where I can see them, young lady!"
"I'm just getting my Ipod! I have all his songs on here! You have to hear him!" Anna pleaded.
Gary begrudgingly allowed her to fish the mp3 player from her backpack. He figured before he jumped to conclusions over this whole matter, it might be well advised to at least give the little brat a listen. If anything, it would give him a platform to speak from. After all, the wikipedia search came back clean. Perhaps there was something in the music he could use against her for a valid argument to dust off the box of Barbie dolls in the basement.
"Give me the headphones." Gary snapped.
As the earbuds snugly entered his ears, the song had already started. At first, nothing struck him as odd. It sounded like any other generic pop music that the Top 40 station was shoving down people's throats on a daily basis. Oh, Ludacris. Nice.
Then it happened.
That one listening experience changed everything. In just 1 minute and 47 seconds, little Justin Beiber had accomplished something that he hadn't experienced in 15 months 21 days and 7 hours.
Gary, shocked, and in total disbelief ripped the earphones from his ears and ducked out of the kitchen in a panic.
He made his way to the bathroom and stared a hole into the mirror.
"Daddy? What's wrong? Are you OK?" Anna questioned through the door.
No, nothing was OK. Not this time. Gary was dripping buckets of sweat. His voice grew hoarse. His eyes began to well up. He had to lie.
"It's ok, honey, just go to your room, I'll be in a minute to finish our talk!"
Gary had some business to tend to. The bulging erection deep within the confines of his pleated Dockers had alot of explaining to do.
Yes, Gary had a real dilemna.
TO BE CONTINUED
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