"Hi. I'm Andrew Ridgeley. One half of the 80's pop phenomenon Wham! And when I'm not rocking and rolling in the studio, i am rocking out for bicycle safety! Always ride FACING traffic. Remember to use proper hand signals when turning and always.....always wear a helmet. Just practicing these tips can provide you with a safer, more enj.......you know what Steve.....I'm sorry....I can't fucking do this".
Steve: Ah, c'mon Andy, you were nailin' it!
Andrew: No, no....I mean Jesus! Bicycle safety? Really?
Steve: Wha..What's the problem? Is it the script? We can make some minor changes if you feel...
Andrew: It's not the fucking script Steve! It's everything....It's you, it's me....it's the world, it's my fucking life!
Steve: Um, ok.....I'm not understanding here....should we take 5 or....
Andrew: Go ahead take 5, take 20 for all I care! It won't bring it back Steve, NOTHING WILL!!!
Steve: Bring what back, Andy?
Andrew: I was in WHAM! Do you realize what I have accomplished in my life Steve? What have you done that's so fucking important? You sit there with your ponytail and tie.....we're all REAL IMPRESSED Steve!
Steve: Ok.....I feel you are projecting something onto me....it was my understanding that we hired you to read this PSA.
Andrew: Oh right! Sure! Let's read the little warning to all the stupid kids so we can keep them alive long enough to grow up and have the world shit on their hopes and dreams!
Steve: Riiiight, ok, from the top, please.
Andrew: Hi, I'm Andrew Ridgeley, the other guy in Wham! I'm not famous like my bandmate George Michael, I guess with me not blowing guys in public restrooms, i'm not worthy of your love! Well fuck off! My only wish is that I could travel back to the days when I was a little bugger and neglect to wear a bicycle helmet, in hopes that i would fly over my handlebars and crack my fucking skull open like a pinata! Fuck you kids, fuck George Michael, fuck Wham, fuck you Steve, and fuck America, I'm done.
Steve: Alright, I think that is a good stopping point for the day. We'll pick up tomorrow around 9AM.
0 comments:
Post a Comment